Due to spammers from hell
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Voltan would really like to meet this spammer face to face some day. Always sending Voltan emails advertising things Voltan does not wish to buy! Replica watches, canadian drugs, homeowner loans, bah! Always trying to sell Voltan drugs that promise to enhance things Voltan does not need enhancing!
There must be some self indulgence an evil supergenius can have without all this guilt! Squashing the miserable buggers is frowned upon, as is most everything else they have coming to them. This frustrates Voltan almost as much as the spam itself.
The shirt collar ought to be jerked up tightly about the chest and pulled to nose level, with a tight shove against a convenient post emphasizing each syllable. Maybe with a bit of spit to blow across the short distance between Voltan and the scumbag spammer. All the aggrivation this bugger’s been causing for so long coming full force back on the perpetrator until Voltan looses his voice! This pleases Voltan. Then it would be time for having friends over so they could blast their heads off, too. no use hogging up all the fun for myself! This part is, of course, only fantasy. Voltan has no friends, nor needs any!
I would get Zane, my slacker henchman, to take care of it all for me but i can’t trust him to do things right. The last time Zane was asked to do something useful around here he let the whereabouts be known of supersecret seabase and that’s why we’ve had to move to supersecret seabase beta.
If the greasy spammers ever come round this way again, Voltan will set aside the fish and chips that night and see just how many calories are in that stuff.